The Philosophy of RAGE!!!!!!!!! (in gaming)

that bird loves me obviously

Why do Gamers have RAGE these days? and why must they waste so much energy on Mics?

Competitiveness
You know you're good at the game and when you fail you come up with the same excuses to help relieve your pain of losing.

Contagious
Believe it or not, I have been a RAGE ranter myself in the call of duties. I can ADMIT that at least. BUT, I believe this all started when I got my hands on Call of duty 4: Modern Warfare. Hearing rants after rants suddenly became a language to me and I was one of those "FUCK YOU, FUCKING CAMPERS!" type of dudes when I was on my prime (very lethal) at the time due to playing EVERY FUCKING DAY! :S

The Kid in us that wants to win or we'll cry for it
For some of us, It's usually because we're 12 years old and we demand to win the game we play on or we'll bitch to our mommies for a better game. Say, The next Call of duties?

Frustration of losing, campers, bullshit, glitches, etc.
This all falls under the excuses we come up with when we lose. But it's not always true because when we Win we'll still bitch about those who camp, or basically a missed shot in a FPS game. Now when it comes to any other game like the Fighting genre we have online, Our main excuse is the spam kicking or basically a button masher that somehow kicks your ass.

Sore loser that wants to Win all the time
So you're a Sore loser and does not know how to take a fucking lost. BOO-FUCKING-HOO! Grow some balls! (Or Boobs if you're a female) And take the LOST! "You can't win it all" as they all say and gaming is all about having fun whether you lose or win!

If we were at a public event around others, the racist, e-fag, e-thug, internet gangster comments wouldn't exist, Why?
Because they're alone in their Rooms and able to ventilate without feeling embarrassed. At a public event, it'll be all smirks and nervous faces.

What can we do to avoid being upset?

BEER..it's the only way you will be able to hold your RAGE and finally laugh at things instead of getting upset. Can't drink? Just listen to yourself.. you will understand how stupid you sound and will feel insecure.


Has RAGE in gaming existed in the past?Maybe for you guys but I don't believe I have ever gotten really upset over losing in a match unless it was against my younger sister in Diddy Kong Racing. But in the end of it, I still had fun playing games.
I don't ever recall getting upset in a game. In my youth, I only recall Enjoying video games very much and the only thing I felt other than happiness was shitting my pants on Silent Hill, and feeling extremely sad when Aerith was struck by Sephiroth's Masamune sword in Final Fantasy VII.


SO TELL ME!
Do you feel like you fall under the Category of Having RAGE in video games this generation? Feel free to
curse me out and tell me how wrong I am on my common sensed "Theories".

VIMEO! VIMEO! VIMEO!

I HAVE A VIMEO! Well, had it since earlier this year but feel free to check it out whenever you can Nemeroth's Vimeo channel. Vimeo is basically a place where trolls don't exist (as far as I know) and is free to anyone that wishes to make great videos. I plan to post more videos and finally start coming up with unique ideas to entertain you guys. I LOVE feedback!! Whether it be negative or positive. It gives me an idea on whatever my own eyes can't see as a viewer. Hopefully things should start gaining it's leaves and hopefully I'll have my tree available for everyone to enjoy. Stay TUNED! As for Youtube, that will have to wait because I would want to create a unique title.

Talk about savings!.....well...in my cheap case..

This year has turned out for the best of us cheap gamers (Well, for those who were actually oddly mixed up with the deals that were dropped 2 weeks after a game's release date) who certainly cannot afford to buy every single game we want as well as afford to avoid any. For some reason, (I don't have the marketing brains for this and will NOT question why) Online Retailers/Retailers such as Target, Wal-mart, Bestbuy, and even Kmart gained some popularity from most gamers by dropping prices for certain titles 2 weeks AFTER the game's release date! (Sorry to those early buyers at Gamestop.) And I'm not talking about the petty $5 that Gamestop likes to offer. I'm talking about saving at least $10-$30! If you were one of the fortunate savers (or patient buyers I should say.) Then GOOD FOR YOU! HOLY FUCK WE'RE SO FUCKING COOL!

Getting to the point of all this, I have purchased a lot of games this year and actually avoided buying more than I  originally wanted. I wanted way too many titles (as did we all) and had to find a way to cut it down to it's lowest count as tight as possible. I didn't actually expect to save any money this year as I tend to buy a LOT of day 1 games but surprisingly I saved a shit load by waiting for a deal to hit the internets.

This year in 2011 so far I've purchased 18 ps3 titles which were all released within this year besides Batman: Arkham Asylum. Forgot to mention that I have a lovely Fiancee who is also into video games so that 18 count doesn't mean that they were all mines. However, I had to throw down money so bah!

Anyway, Don't want to get too chatty. Just wanted to show what I bought this year and how much I spent on each game as well as the total amount spent for 2011 and total amount saved!!$_$!! Oh I'll even throw in a little score to each title just for the hell of it! If you Don't feel like reading all of this shit down there just skim through it and look at the bottom as it will show you my total savings and such.

Little Big Planet 2 

to start the year (which was for me and @rcknjess)

Purchased it for it's full retail price at Gamestop on day 1 for  $59.99+$4.80tax (bastards)

I really enjoyed sackboy's 2nd adventure and gave it a 9 out of 10

Marvel vs Capcom 3 

came out around February and I was psyched on grabbing it on the midnight release...

Therefore it cost me $59.99+4.80tax purchased from Gamestop (assholes)

I loved the animated characters that gave me a comic book feel to it but hated the menu selection as far as different modes and such. Online wasn't as expected as well with it's simple features. Gave it an 8..

Not to mention the fuckers at capcom decided to fuck their first day buyers over once again (or as always) releasing a second title Ultimate MvC3 8 mos later! with NEMESIS and for only $40!! bah! :(

Socom 4

came out around April and I had a hard decision between this game and Portal 2 (Don't ask why)

Got the game at TARGET for 49.99+3.49tax (special deal from target, don't remember why.)

I've enjoyed this game so much and feel it is totally underrated in the shooter genre due to other popular titles but hey it was fun while I was at it. Made a lot of awesome Psn friends but lost in touch when I stopped playing this title. Also, Want to mention I am a retard for not noticing the Socom PRO voucher which unlocked all the online features ($19.99 ps store) inside the game so I missed out on the fun on that..

I gave it a 8.5

Portal 2

Shortly after getting the platinum for Socom 4, News was released (via awesome Twitter peeps) that Portal 2 was gonna get a limited time price drop to $29.99+2.10tax!! on May 5-7th at Kmart! The game Released on April 19th, so I had curious wonders as to why so low. I thought maybe the game wasn't so good after all or maybe Kmart was just insanely desperate for some customers and figured selling a popular title down to it's lowest price would gain some recognition on it's gaming community. SO THEY HAVE! but by me only as I believe I was the only person who knew about the price drop around my area. (No, not even the employee that gave me assistance knew about it and jumped on it afterwards.)

I fell in love with this game and gave it a 10. I haven't played the first title but loved the Dialogue, Gameplay, Mechanics, Physics, and just about everything about it. Definitely worth a buy if you haven't already.

Alice: Madness Returns

A couple days into Portal 2 @rcknjess kept bugging me to grab this game for her but I kept telling her that I wanted to wait and see if a deal would pop up out of nowhere and so it did. AMAZON dropped it down to $37 two weeks after the game released on, June 14th. So that was a steal eh?

Can't say I've played the game yet but it looked fairly decent and really ugly in a beautiful way if that makes any got damn sense. Yes, Ugly as in weird, unique, and odd in all beautiful mysterious ways. Also, @rcknjess seemed to really enjoy it and gave it a 9

Lego: Pirates of the Caribbean

Another game @rcknjess wanted really bad after playing a demo. I waited for a good deal and it came to me 2 weeks after it released (May 10th) at TARGET for $37 flat. Superbly awesome of Target and grabbed a rain check at that so I could get it whenever I could get the money for it.

I loved the physics from this game as it seemed nearly realistic as putting legos on the screen and watching them animate by their selves from my control! (oh, I didn't play it either, I enjoyed watching @rcknjess play though hehe.)

She gave it a 8.5

Batman: Arkham Asylum

Finally giving this game a buy after two years (Aug 25th, 2009) was one of the best things that has ever happened to me in the history of gaming. I deeply fell in love with this game and oh wait this isn't the tiny review part. Fuck, umm I got it for $29.99+2.10tax at shitty Gamestop ( I should've gotten it at best buy when it dropped down to $19.99 around march but I was unsure at that moment, like a fucktard.)

Anyway, gave it a 100 out of 10.. one of my all-time favorite games this gen.

Infamous 2

I remember when Sony was struck hard by some asshole hacker group (please don't fucking hack my fucking blog for talking ish! haha) and everyone in the gaming industry struck on them as well. It was a benefit for me as I got to play Infamous for free by their welcome back package. Really enjoyed Infamous (I hated the demo in '09 and felt it was too plain and a copy from a spiderman/assassin's creed type of game) and felt the need to grab Infamous 2. Just not on the release date. Lucky for me, Gamestop decided to sell the Hero Edition (which is awesome) for $59.99+$4.80tax which was originally $99.99!

Enjoyed 1 better than 2 and did not like the voice acting switch for Cole on inFamous 2.

Gave it a 8.5

Fallout: New Vegas

In August, I was just about finished with Infamous 2 and needed another game to jump onto right after. New Vegas suddenly jumped on my map when I heard the price dropped down from $29.99 to $19.99+$1.39tax so I had to make the quick grab on it at .....Gamestop. Ignoring several of the game's glitches, bugs, and freezes, as I already knew what I was getting myself into. I enjoyed the game the best I could and gave it an 8 for it's awesomeness regardless of the annoying 5 min saves I had to pull cause of those damned Glitches.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

So I've noticed I've been yapping a lot even though I DID tell myself not to do it. Got damn it! I'll try to keep it simpler! Ok, ok, how about this.. This game everyone jumped on the bandwagon and said this was immediately their Game of the Year. It was hard for me to believe after seeing the graphics of this game (which isn't all that great for a ps3 title) but after buying it about 3 weeks after it's release date for an awesome deal steal of $37.00 flat on the Awesome Amazing AMAZON and I must say that the game was surely fun but definitely over-hyped a bit in my opinion. Still doesn't take that away from it being a great game but you get my point. I gave it a 8.5.

God of War: Origins

I bought this game day 1 for @rcknjess and myself. To be realistic though, She was more hyped up for this game than I was due to the fact I was stuck on trying to complete DeusEx before other games released in October and such. Didn't really get this for a deal but 2 for 1 is enough for any deal especially since we haven't had the chance to enjoy the psp titles. Unfortunately, I got it at the convience of.....Yes yes yes Gamestop (fuck your face Gamestop) for $39.99+2.79tax and I believe she gave it an 8 out of 10 for the usual Kratos VENGEANCE experience.

Dark Souls

I can't really talk much about this game, It's surely different (polished a bit more than demon's souls but in an open map/world type of game) and it's certainly tougher the way the director wanted to be. I haven't finished it due to other games interrupting but I can assure you if you love the challenge in RPGS and love Big Dragons along with Ugly ass creatures and a dark experience than this is the title for you! Got it Day 1 on it's retail price of $59.99+$4.80tax reserved from Gamestop (saving some money for it's collector's edition for reserving it which was cool I guess)

Ico & Sotc collection

*reversed cover art*

This one came out of nowhere! Some of my twitter followers mentioned Bestbuy selling it for $24.99+$1.74tax but was sold out online. I immediately jumped in my car and ran to my local Bestbuy not only to find out it was gone but it was said that only 10 were available in stock since that week so there was no luck at all. Not to mention you couldn't get a Raincheck out of it because it wasn't an advertised deal. Day after Day I called in hoping they would have it back in stock but nothing happened until 5 days later I finally heard there was another set of titles waiting to be taken advantage of so I jumped right in my car and grabbed my $25 copy. Surely these games were worth it's $40 retail price but the cheap gamer in me wanted to save. I still have yet to play these awesome titles because I want to enjoy them without worrying about any backlog (which I'm trying to clear up as of now.)

Batman: Arkham City

Don't want to say too much except that this is my Game of the Year title. Surely a must-have for any Gamer/Batman fan/or any comic fan as this is purely made out of something unique and pleasant for all Gamers to enjoy. That's just my opinion though. 10 out of 10 for this game purchased from the evil motherfucking son bitches at Gamestop for it's retail price of $59.99+$4.80tax . Of course, I missed out on deals passed on amazon for $30 but not sure waiting for this game to go on sale was an option.

Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception

Bought this game in a special way because I purchased it straight from Sony as they promoted an AMC 'play it first in 3D' event held throughout select cities in the US. The great thing about this deal was not only that I was one of the lucky gamers to play it "first" but I was also able to pay only $60.00 to join the event AND receive the game a week early. The only problem involved the distance of this event. NYC was selected to hold this event at one of their AMC theaters and it took me to basically take the train from Philadelphia, PA to attend this event. It was surely worth the experience even though I spent about $120 for everything including @rcknjess to accompany me. Gave this game a 9.5 for awesome action and an awesome film-like experience.

Call of duty: Modern Warfare 3

Had to buy this game for @rcknjess on day 1 for $59.99+$4.80tax at the devil's office (Gamestop) as it was one of her most anticipated games of 2011. I didn't want to buy another Call of duty game cause I knew I wouldn't play it as much anyway due to the community. Which I dislike a lot cause of the amount of douchebags that exists in that game. But hey, You simply can't say no to your GF/Fiancee/Wife cause yeah you know damn well you will wake up the next day with either Satan burning your ass with his cock or God tormenting you for all of your sins committed so he can forgive you. Haven't played the story mode yet but @rcknjess gave it an 8 out of 10.

Goldeneye007: Reloaded

Haven't played the single player yet but got this game for $39.79 as it was on sale during my birthday weekend. Again, another title that released, and two weeks later having a sale on AMAZON. I didn't hesitate to grab this game and not sure why. I actually told myself not to buy anymore games to worsen the condition of my backlog which is seriously putting a death date on my forehead.

Rayman Origins

Wanted to grab this game for @rcknjess and I and somehow, somewhere over the rainbow of pure hatred Gamestop decided to join in the fun and sale this game for $39.99+2.79tax. The catch was that it was an online only deal. Honestly not sure what that meant but I had to hurry up and take advantage of this awesome deal. This was 2 weeks after it originally released.

So what have I learned this year about buying video games?

STOP FUCKING BUYING DAY 1 TITLES FROM GAMESTOP AND FOR IT'S RETAIL PRICE UNLESS IT'S A BATMAN GAME.....BUT STILL NOT FROM GAMESTOP.......OK UNLESS IT HAS SOME TYPE OF EXCLUSIVE BETTER THAN ANOTHER STORE!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok not just a Batman title but you know, a favorite title! because maybe, JUST maybe, or even 75% maybe, That game will go on sale 2 weeks after it's release date for some odd reason. I need to look up why that happens. Or maybe I should just STFU, not ask any questions, and just buy cheap games!

I spent a total of : $790.87
and saved a total of: $301.31
COULD'VE spent a total of: $1,092.18
and missed out a total of: NOT SURE AS I HAVE TO DO TOO MUCH RESEARCH!! haha I'm lazy.

Saved more than I are?? COMMENT BELOW AND TEACH ME SOMETHING I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT!

My take on the CoD Slang...

Ever play any of the recent Call of duties and wondered, "Why am I being called a Hard Scoper, when I'm just simply trying to use the scope the way every sniper should?" And "Why am I being called a try-hard if I'm simply just enjoying the game?" Here I will cover most of what I've heard on the call of duties and give you a brief explanation on what you will hear people call you in any game mode of Call of duty (pun unintentional) or in any game in general.

CAMPER
Sure you already should know the word "Camper" as that word is basically thrown around almost all the time in a game of TDM (Team Death Match.) If you heard of the word Camper but still don't know what to make out of it, Just understand this. I personally believe that anyone w/o a sniper rifle who remains on one spot for more than 15 seconds is considered a camper. Other than that, if you DO have a sniper rifle. It is NOT CAMPING. It's sniping and that's what snipers do right? Though many others believe otherwise, you'll be expected to Quick scope your way around the map (run and sniping) which is really stupid in my opinion. Could be fun in private matches with awesome friends, but NOT in public matches.

N00B
Another call out you'll hear repeatedy, even if you AREN'T a N00B. The same as a lot of other words abused, this will be used against you in any case of events from just standing there when you see somebody walk on by to actually trying to kill the last man standing but ended up getting Owned. You definitely should know this word as it is the most used word for Rookie around the interwebs

OWNED/PWNED/RAPED
Getting owned/pwned/raped is not fun. Going 0-31 is just downright OUTRAGEOUS! But you're not to blame as you are probably a n00b and learning the basics until you further increase your skill and wont get owned/pwned/raped. Getting into the english side of owned. It's a Verb for which you are basically someone's bitch in that particular match. Getting Pwned might be the same meaning but to me it's an ADVANCED version of owned as you will own their Pussy should I say (get the point?) Getting Raped/Smacked is another form I personally use (others have different meanings) for a TEAM raping the shit out of your insides LITERALLY in the game. Well okay not LITERALLY but basically you're playing a team that's extremely good together and will prevent you and your team from getting kills in a match of TDM or any game mode for the matter. Oh and this can go both ways of course, but if you were really great at this game I'm assuming you already know what this means for you.

N00B TUBER
Being a n00b sucks for sure. But being a n00b and using a grenade launcher all at once blows monkey balls crap. a grenade launcher is an attachment of an assault rifle, "no shit, Sherlock" you should already know that but I'm just explaining just in case! Bah! Use this attachment and you will hear Gamers rage all over the place. They simply just can't stand it. Even I can't stand it. I don't even understand why it still exists in the game. I guess the game devs love to piss people off haha. Oh, the tuber part. The reason it's n00b Tube and you are considered a n00b tuber for using it is because of the sound it makes *donk*. Why haven't they just called it a n00b donker beats me but n00b tube is what's been heard for all the years I've played the call of duties.

HARD SCOPER
I love this word/phrase so much. It must have been created by a little fat fuck who wanted to demand a bunch of 12 year olds so that they could spread their little piece of shit disease and have everyone "No-scope" or "Quick Scope". Every time I picked up a sniper rifle off of a fallen ally or enemy, I'll simply zoom in (as we all would/should) and get a simple little kill that'll put me on the spot for the last kill cam (now this goes for any mode but I'm mostly referring to Search & Destroy.) Then I'll hear the little rants that I hard-scoped and that I am a pussy who needs to grow some balls. Seriously? You little bitch cunts want me to quick scope just like you so that you can have an advantage and kill me with your 100hr+ private matches of trained quick scopes? No thanks, I'd rather just keel you one shot zoomed in bah! Oh, here's I are hard scoping.

NO-SCOPE
Yes you should know what a No-scope is, and Yes, everyone does it these days and expect everyone else to follow them and do the same bullshit. No, I will not follow on, but Yes, I know how to do this as I honestly tried it plenty of times myself with friends who told me I should just do it for fun. Basically what no-scoping is NOT using the scope of a Sniper Rifle. Simple enough eh? What you'll do is line up the cross-hairs on an enemy and simply shoot him. Bah. Oh and then there's the 360 no-scope where you basically make things a little more challenging, raising your sensitivity high up around the 8-9s and basically performing a full 360 no scope to your enemies. Takes a lot of practice and a lot of time wasted.


QUICK-SCOPE
Alright, we get the point. You quickly zoom in W/O zooming in FULLY (meeting your eye halfway into the scope *pressing L1 no more than 0.5 milliseconds*) and shoot the enemy and basically feeling all victorious because you believe you've mastered something so AWESOME! When really, it's almost the same as No-scoping but oddly more accurate. So there, want to join in the fun of no-scoping? Go right on ahead! Nobody is stopping you. It's honestly fun with friends but not in the public matches because in pubs, everyone expects you to do it and if you miss a shot and get owned everyone will laugh at you which is not cool, not cool at all haha.


RAGEQUIT
Rage quitting is as simple as getting really pissed the fuck off and quitting the game in progress, slamming your controller against your brain and telling your mom to fuck off and make you some butter cream fucking pancakes with ice cream sammiches. No really, a lot of Gamers these days tend to freak the fuck out on their consoles and spouses because of the bull crap they deal with on the internets. This can range from the lag of their crown fried chicken connection, to the campers blowing them away in the same spot, to the beasts that own them constantly in their spawn spot, to just getting called a n00b. Rage Quitting is what we do as a gamer when we just plain suck at something and can't deal with a loss. Boo fucking hoo.


TRY HARD
Let me just clear this up, everybody is a "Try-hard" to be honest. What folks will call you for giving too much effort in a match of CoD is what everyone does in matches. Sure their skill may seem like it's higher than yours at first, but when you take over and turn the tables around on them you'll probably hear that call-out a lot! Especially if you use the game's strongest weapons, perks, and such. A lot of sore losers like to use this word, and this is their excuses for getting their asses kicked, because you tried too hard *sigh*.


RUSHING
It's what you see all the time in CoD but this term is mainly used in S&D when your team basically bone rushes the opposite team just annihilating anything you see that gets in your way. Did I mention this term is only used in a game of Search and Destroy with a TEAM (or clan) that you are in? Yes. That's rushing. Run and Gun basically. Not always the best strategy.


FLANK
You'll rarely hear this term in a public match but it basically means you'll go behind the enemy while they're distracted by your teammates. You'll here your teammates shout "flank the enemy!" so go right on and sneak your way behind those n00bs and knife every one of them! or they might shout "We're being flanked!" (which again, is rare due to NON-COMMUNICATIVE ALLIES!) so watch your back at all times n00b!


SPAWN CAMPING/TRAPPING
Spawn camping is basically a player (particularly YOU) not moving from the area of which you spawned. Other times you'll actually be trapped at your spawn (which is the worst! >_<) by the enemy and this will be your que to LEAVE NOW! or RAGEQUIT or something! Do NOT stay there and get OWNED with a score of 0-31.

GLITCHER
A glitcher is a player who loves to camp inside glitches (which either prevents YOU from either SEEING, or KILLING him/her in that match.) Not sure if there are any glitches to hide in now that the devs have been on top of it lately. Well as far as I know of.


CLUTCH
This is one of my favorite words used in the CoD or Multiplayer universe. It's mainly used in Search & Destroy when you are all alone and the odds are totally against you with all 5-6 players waiting to strike your weak ass hiding in the corner waiting to cook yourself a grenade to commit a suicidal lost escaping the Gang Bang Rape scene you were chosen to do. Oh right, I'm supposed to tell you what it means. Well, it means you've pulled the clutch onto BEAST mode and tore up the whole team by your Loneself! Look at you.. feeling all...Special.. Sucks for the other team but hey here's a prime example video on the black ops showing you how it's done (It's a 50/50 chance you'll do this depending on timing and skill.)


LAG SWITCHER
This was possible only in the Call of duty: Modern Warfare 2 game (that I know of.) A slimy little bitch would unplug his router real fast (this was only possible with certain routers before a patch was made) and would cause only the other players to freeze or lag leaving him/her free to kill anyone they chose in a matter of seconds before they were timed out. The bullshit about this was that it wasn't fixed for a good 3 months until it got popular along with the prestige glitch where you could hack your way up to the 10th prestige no problem along with unlocking EVERYTHING in multiplayer. Oh god was Mw2 fucked up.


GARBAGE/GARBO/TRASH/SCRUB/BUM/HOOKER (ok not really.)
I'm not entirely sure who came up with the trashy trash talk but I loathed the abuse of these words and I'm pretty sure you will get sick and tired of other players calling you a scrub for pwning them. These set of words basically means that (well in the proper given phrase) you are basically a rookie and suck at the game and probably should give up playing cause you will never "get good" or "get on their level". Which is pathetic because everyone needs to enjoy games. And no matter how shitty one plays, the thing that counts the most is that everyone is having fun. That's not the case in this game as many will instantly call you out as garbage if you made ONE mistake or many. They will continue to trash talk and curse you out when you don't have a mic on. Choose to defend yourself? Just ignore them and use that to serve them in the next round for sweet vengeance and pride way over your shoulders.

I've learned through the many years of being a part of the CoD "business" that MANY CoD Gamers will do anything to shut you down making you feel pathetic so you can't play the game anymore. They'll follow others and be a part of this E-Fags (fake ass gangsters) clan to talk shit to you knowing damn well if they were in front of you at a MLG event, their chapped crusty ass mouths would be shut tight. Some words are cool, and useful. Some are just "wtf is wrong with you people" and in the midst of it all. It's all just Bullshit. I hope you've learned some words here and if you heard all of these before or even heard shit I haven't written up here then let me know. I'd like to know because I haven't been playing since the beginning of the blackops release.

UBU ROI

Warped. Strange. and ruthless in a way conceivable only by the most twisted of prepubescent French minds, Pa Ubu is a man who uses his cunning. his guile. his arrogance. and his disgusting toilet brush to rise to power over the humble, unsuspecting Poles. His subsequent reign of greed and oppression is the stuff of cartoons and legends.

I am going to play the role as Captain Sexcrement as this will be my first non-school production play and it should be fucking AWESOME this year at Philadelphia's Fringe Fest. For ticketing/Location Info, Click on the link. See ya there! If not, sorry you had to miss out on a GREAT FUCKING SHOW! lol

http://ticketing.theatrealliance.org/sites/livearts/details.aspx?id=19570

My top 10 favorite Final Fantasy characters

Hey guys! Though, I've only played 5 out of the many titles that were released. I still believe there's enough for me to cover in this top ten list. Oh, and let me just mention that this is MY top ten favorites. I'm sure there are many different list out there and I'd be more than happier to check out yours.

X. Red XIII (Nanaki) (Final Fantasy VII)

The first time I saw Nanaki, I remember thinking he was gonna @#%$ aeris up! But surprisingly, he was on our side and had his own backstory from Cosmo Canyon! Oh, and he could actually %@$#ING talk! Well, not with voice overs of course but with the old school dialogues we all miss. Nanaki is #10 above all the other characters I've encountered in the Final Fantasy franchise because he is the the most memorable of the rest. Sorry Tidus, Lulu, Cait sith, Barrett, Riku, Wakka, Zidane, Auron, Vincent and the rest of you.

IX. Sazh's Pet Chocobo (Final Fantasy XIII) 

When I saw the trailer of FFXIII and heard it was coming to ps3 I just couldn't wait to be hooked! This little chocobo made it more interesting being able to play with a character who actually owns the awesome bird. I had such an imagination of how this bird would turn out to be usable in FFXIII but when I got the game, I just couldn't have the experience due to the nightmare of changes the game has went through. Enough about that game, and especially the annoying owner of this poor chocobo. I just wish I could play the game thoroughly so I can see what this guy could've done on the battlefield, Kweh!

VIII. Vivi Orunitia

Vivi! If I had to choose the best spellcaster out of any video game out there, it would be this character (well after he believed in himself anyway). He is just too powerful with his black magic damn it! Especially when he transforms into "double black" which basically 2x the amount of AP if I'm not mistaken. Anyway, he was the main reason I won most of the battles in FFIX. Without him, I felt pressured into leveling up all my other characters!
VII. Garnet til alexandros XVII (Dagger)

I'm not gonna lie, when I first caught my eyes on Dagger, I fell in love along with Zidane Tribal (the main Protagonist). Ok, sure I fell in love with all the main protagonist "lovers" (aerith, yuna, and dagger) but that's what final fantasy is all about eh? Fantasizing over the hottest playable character of the game and stealing their wives..or for cloud's position..dead wives...yes, I steal dead wives! Anyway, this princess was one I wish were real cuz at the time she could've been my girlfriend and I'd be one happy dude serving her pancakes every morning. 
VI. Tifa Lockhart

Of course tifa is known for the "Hottest" and the became the most promiscuous of all the FF characters because of all the "talented" perverted Artist out there who like to fantasize and exaggerate Huge Melons and forget all about the arse of a gorgeous woman. (Yes I loves the butt.) Nevermind all that jibberish the fact of the matter for Tifa's kick ass approach on my top 10 is because she fights with her bare hands. No swords, no magic (well maybe a little healing and boob magic), no kitchen knives, staffs, nor a fist with a gatling gun attached. Just plain fist aching for Cloud's babies. And of course, a woman with big boobs, and a steel fist is a "dime" so they call it.
V. Aerith Gainsborough (Aeris)

The beautiful and wonderful flower girl Aerith! One who stole our hearts along with cloud's and had it crushed by the greatest anti-protagonist of all time so we could feel totally angry and seek revenge for her death! Ahhhh!! (It still haunts me even after striking my favorite villain of all time with a couple of blows to end his life.) She will always be remembered *****SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!****for that one moment Sephiroth slowly..very slowly slaughtered her with one strike from the back of her spine to the ground of her tears.
IV. Yuna 

Yuna! Don't need much to say about her charm, love and beauty which totally surrounded me with a "GoD I wish I was there!" type of ordeal. Especially with the introduced voice acting we've long awaited for which made things even better for us involving emotions towards these "imaginary" characters we grow to love and hate (although my mind isn't clear on how sexy Yuna sounded like...is that even a word? excuse my ghettoness!). Her eyes were the best thing ever in this game and it basically introduced me to the meaning of heterochromia on which I had NO fucking clue what that meant in my teenage years. I think out of all the female characters in the FF series so far Yuna has to be my favorite for her courageous personality that will forever be remembered in my Heart *cries like a bitch*
III. Cloud Strife

The main protagonist of FFVII everyone loved to love and the most favorited/memorable (I think) protagonist of all the Final Fantasy titles to date! I'm Guessing the spiky bad ass hair style captured everyone's eyes along with his huge buster sword of course which is also memorable/unforgettable. He was (for some odd reason) my idol of a bad ass. Though he was a self-proclaimed ex-member of S.O.L.D.I.E.R (at which I still haven't played FFVII: Crisis Core to see his backstory) "he to me" seemed more like a Death Angel slaying away any mother bitch cunt that comes in his way so that's part of the reason he was an idol to me and that's why he is number 3 bitches.

II. Kuja

Kuja, the Antagonist of FFIX honestly confused me as a child. I once thought he was a sexy female judging him from his choice of clothing and his feminine look (don't judge me). It was simple enough afterwards during the story that he was surely a dude, which terribly ruined my brain as I thought to myself, "Was I really attracted to a man for a whole 2 discs of gameplay?" *screeches* Anyway that's my past, getting to the reason HE is number 2 is because he was different from other FF villains, has no emotions, and he was the Angel of Death in this game. (And definitely looks like it, and plus his theme music was the FUCKING BEST!
I. Sephiroth

Sephiroth, My god my god my golly fucking gosh. I'm sure you already knew this man, uh sorry, DEMON/ANGEL/AERIS/YOUR MOM/SLAYER/DEATH BRINGER/BABY BURPER/IPHONE DROPPER/PIZZA CUTTER of a man would be the number one top pick of my favorite final fantasy characters. Him and his epic Masamune Katana blade that struck any foe with one strike caught my heart and tore my soul into bits and bit of tiny fucking pieces. He changed everything for me in the gaming industry and continues to be my favorite villain of all-time. Kinda sucks that a lot of others feel the same way but oh well he deserves that spot for the evillest villain of em all! I'd definitely get this villain ink'd on my skin but not sure how and where I want it yet. Anyways, There's no explaining why he's better than the rest. I done said it already. Getting a video game character ink'd on my skin is more than enough love from me. I'm sure a lot of folks already had theirs done but I am a tattoo-less (well except for one maybe) human and wouldn't get any tattoos at all unless it meant something.

Thanks for reading the bullshit I've written. Hope you've enjoyed the pictures at least. If not, I am sorry for being such a terrible person of wasting your extremely valuable time and hope that a monkey takes a drill and shoves it in your noggin for heaven's sake because.....well there's no reason to it. I'm just being an asshole because I can! HA!... Ok I keed but seriously. Leave me your top 10 if you wish, I'd like to see other list out there with reason. (Even though my reasons were personal reasons and not argue-mental haha)